The room was silent besides the faint murmur of a television far off. The walls were vibrant pink and fuchsia stencils of swirling figures. The couches matched the walls, almost a hot pink. The décor around the room was bright and lively depicting a happy place of colors.
The girl sitting on the couch was exhausted and missing her mother. It had been two weeks since she had seen or talked to her she just sort of upped and left. She was in a trance staring at the ceiling fan, until she felt a vibration against her leg. It was her cell phone.
“Hey! What is going on?” the girl asked casually as she sat up from her relaxed position on the couch.
A muffled voice responded, “Hey…Have you heard?”
The girl responded, “Have you been working out or crying? I can not really understand you?”
“No. He died, Samantha. He is dead,” responded the voice.
Frantically, Samantha pleaded “who is dead, Sage? Who?!”
“It’s him, Samantha…Cleo”
Instantly Samantha dropped her phone into the cushions of the hot pink couch. She just sat there shocked and in disbelief. She had just seen him the night before. Frolicking around the party with that mischievous grin. It could not be real so she sat and soaked it in.
She repeated silently in her head, “He is gone. He is gone. He is really gone. Cleo is dead.”
For some odd reason saying his name attached to the word “dead” brought truth to the statement. Tears begin to gush from Samantha’s eyes at an uncontrollable rate. She manages to scramble in the cushions of the hot pink couch to find her phone.
She calls back Sage, her voice out of breath and muffled now, “Hey, how do you
know? What happened?”
Sage responds, “his sister's friend.”
“But how?” Samantha demands
“I am not for sure, but they found him in bed cold to the touch”
“Who was it that found him?” Samantha demands again
“It was his mom and his little brother was in the next room. He did not see anything.”
“I can not believe it, this is the second person his mother has found dead. She must feel cursed. Can you imagine?”
“Never. I would be scarred for life.” Sage began and then Samantha cuts her off
“I would never be the same. Ever. I just do not believe it” Samantha cooed
“Apparently his mom was calling for him to wake up she was taking his little brother somewhere and he would not answer. She angrily marched up the stairs continuing to call his name with no answer. Once she got up to his room she thought he was playing a joke because of the way he was laying”
“What? How was he laying?”
“He was laying in his bed with his arms rested behind his head” Sage lingered
“…And? I feel like there is more” Samantha pressed
“There is. Are you sitting down?”
“Yes, I am on the pink couches in my house. I have been this entire time”
“Well, he was laying there with his arms crossed behind his head and…”
“And, what? Come on!”
“He had a big smile on his face like he was happy. That is why his mom thought he was playing a joke”
All the hairs on Samantha’s body stood on end. Chills ran through her body. This was eerie but in a way calming to her.
“Oh my gosh, Sage. A smile? Why was he smiling?”
“No one knows. Maybe a good dream before he died, who knows”
“In a way it is almost peaceful and reassuring that he went in a way that was not painful”
“That is apparently the only thing keeping his mother sane at the moment”
At the moment, Samantha’s dad walked in the door to find her humped over with tears streaming down her face, as she lay defeated on the pink couches.
“Hey my dad just walked in Sage, can I call you back?”
“Sure…but wait Samantha”
“Yeah, what is it Sage?”
“You can not say anything to anyone because his sister does not know yet”
“What how could they not tell her? You know what I will call you back my dad is giving me a weird look wondering what is wrong”
As Samantha got off the phone she looked at her father who did not seem to notice anything was wrong. He gave her a smile and a hug and went back to unloading his truck from a weekend away hunting. Although Samantha felt hurt at first he could not notice the pain she was in she was relived he had not questioned her on what was bothering her. All she wanted was her mother’s comforting arms telling her everything was going to be all right. The closest she had was her best friend, Sage.
“Sage, hey. He did not notice anything was up. I just really do not want to be alone. Talk to me”
“Me either. I wish we were in the same city and I would come over. I know this is the last thing you need, Samantha”
In a strained voice to keep from crying, “I know. It is especially hard because I just want her. I want her to be my mother and be here for me”
“I am so sorry, I know how much you admired her and loved her”
“Yeah” Samantha sniffled back
“It makes me so angry at her though, Sam. She should not have done this to your family”
“She was unhappy…I know she is coming back. I want to tell her about Cleo”
“She loved Cleo and she loves you, just know that Sam”
“I know that, Sage. I know that with all my heart. Lets change the subject, enough about me—Cleo…when was the last time you saw him?”
“I always saw him working out at the country club with his trainer”
“Oh yeah, I remember you calling me all giddy because you had such a crush on him”
“Yeah, he was incredibly attractive. It was that smile that got me”
“Everyone was hooked by that smile, Sage. Everyone”
“It is symbolic in a way that he died smiling”
“I thought that too. I am glad that is the last emotion his mother got to see of him. It was the best”
At that moment Samantha’s phone began to beep indicating she had another phone call coming through. She switched to her incoming call. It was another friend who had learned of the news. She switched back to Sage.
“That was just Claire. People are starting to find out”
“His death was so strange and unexpected, people are beginning to gossip about the cause of death”
“Let them then. Those closest to him know he would never do anything to harm himself and we know he did not do drugs. I mean his mom was crazy drug testing him all the time. There is no way”
“I know, it is just such a sudden death and at such a young age it is hard to think of natural causes as the cause of death”
“You don’t think though, do you?”
“No, I will not let myself go there. It will only make things worse”
“Do you think we will ever know what really happened to him though Sage?”
“I hope so. I think his parents would want the truth to come out. He would want the truth about his death to be known by his close friends”
“But they are such a wealthy, well known family. I could see them trying to cover up his cause of death to save his legacy”
“You are right. I can see his mother doing that. She would tell herself it was to protect his legacy but in reality it is to protect the family legacy and name”
“I completely agree. I hope I am wrong though. I really do” at that moment Samantha hangs up the phone with Sage.
Weeks pass and no one knows what happened to Cleo. Some speculate suicide as others come forth saying they were drug buddies with Cleo and it must have been an accidental overdose because they cannot grasp the fact that he would commit such an act. Cleo seemed like such a happy boy, always smiling. Samantha has not talked to Sage in a few weeks and decides to call up her best friend.
“Hey Samantha! What is up?”
“Nothing really Sage, just thinking about Cleo”
“I have been thinking about him non stop as well. Do you believe what they are saying?”
“It is hard not too. I just keep thinking how I thought I knew Cleo so well”
“I know what you mean, I have thought the same”
“It scares me Sage. It really does. I feel like I did not know him at all yet I spent so much time around him”
“You can not blame yourself Samantha. You knew him better than I did. I think the person he showed you was who he really wanted to be and you helped him be that person”
“But he seemed so happy….so happy. I could have helped him if I knew”
“No one knew, Sam. Not even his parents knew the depth of his sadness”
“Does that not scare you though Sage? You think you know a person and they are so happy and then this happens”
“No it really does not because now I know he is truly happy”
“What do you mean? How could you say that?”
“You know how he always had that mischievous smile and we always asked him what he was hiding?”
“Yeah and he would always give out a deep laugh and say nothing”
“Well I think the smile he died with on his face was real”
“What do you mean?”
“He was finally at peace with himself and done struggling. He no longer had anything to hide so the mischief was gone”
“And that is helpful to you how, Sage?”
“Because it is the first, last real smile ever. It is his way of letting us know everything is all right now he is finally happy”
Hey Sarah!
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad but inspiring at the same time because it gives us a glance of how some people cope with death and the first stages of the grief process! I like your writing style. I thought it was interesting that he died smiling. Good job!
SMW
while i really liked the story, one small thing i would tweak is the use of contractions within dialogue. its a small thing but it makes the conversation seem more natural. that being said, i thought you did an excellent job of framing a tragic event within a couple of phone calls. it was quite moving.
ReplyDeleteI agree with using contractions in the dialogue, it would make the conversation feel less formal and more relaxed. I really loved this story though, it was very touching and I really like the last couple lines about him being happy finally. Great job!
ReplyDeleteIt was a really sad story which isn't really my style but I liked how you had a third person describing the scene. The only thing I would work on is the flow of dialogue. It was kinda awkward and didn't seem like a it was really have a sense of real life. I would work on making the dialogue a little more natural. Anyways, I like the story but definitely think you can work with it and make it a really strong story! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good story, it was sad but so well written. I agree with Michael I would use contractions just to make the dialogue a little bit more believable. My only problem was that the story was so well written but the dialogue still didn't flow for me as a normal conversation would. I am not great with dialogue so I have no suggestions but that would be my only one. You are an incredible writer! Great Job!
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